To Be
by Aladailey
Summary: Sometime before the Empire struck back, Leia had somewhat of a crisis. [One shot]


**Author's Note: **Just something I thought of while cleaning. Dunno why. But, seeing as my muse for _Daughter of a Sith_ is surfing somewhere in Hawaii, I decided to post this instead. Tell me what you think of it, okay? I know it's not excellent, but it's alright.It's my first writing for Leia that's... not AU. So, yeah. Enjoy...!(?)

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My name is Princess Leia Organa. And I know exactly where my life is going. 

In fact, I've known for quite a while. Ever since I was nine I've known that I wanted to join the Rebellion, since I was fourteen I helped my father on matters regarding the Alliance, and when I was nineteen I was kicked off of the Imperial Senate since they found out I was a revolutionist. At twenty-one I am organizing the finer points of setting up our hidden base on a frigid world.

All my life, it has been politics. Politics is my passion, my career, my meaning. The problem is that my take on politics is completely different than that of the totalitarian dictator that runs the galaxy and is out to have us crushed. ('Us' meaning the other Rebels and I.) Actually, most of the time as a Rebellion leader is coming up with complex escape plans meant to work in nearly every scenario possible.

But I was taught to persevere. And I do, and, surprisingly, so does the whole Rebellion. We fight. Although small in numbers - under ten thousand - we've managed to destroy the Death Star and evade the Fleet. Many of our spies have no been caught, and we have not been betrayed by one of our own. Not yet. I know that I'll most likely die trying to bring justice and equality to the galaxy - but in the name of the democratic ideal, I'm not afraid. I've accepted.

Who knows for how many years that this Rebellion will keep fighting, keep dying for peace to ensue, anyway? Centuries upon centuries, maybe (even though we found out two years ago that nothing is invincible). It certainly isn't happening anytime soon. Just look where we're setting up base, as Captain Solo so kindly puts it.

The Captain. Most days, I have no idea as to what to think of him. He knows exactly what to say to make it sting, then he knows exactly what to say to make a situation that once seemed unbearable to seem... well, bearable. He's different than anyone else I've ever met. Han treats me like an equal; he doesn't walk on eggshells around me, he kicks them out of the way and marches straight into my face. I lose my composure more than I care to admit when he's around. And then... well, I don't know. He makes me furious with his comments on the rebellion, his leers. Some days I just want to slap that (adorable) grin off of his face (or elsewhere. It really all comes down to whether or not he's sititng down when the offensive comment is said. I mean, I can reach said face when he's standing, but it's highly inconvenient. So I usually go for his shoulder or something, and that takes away from the effectiveness of the slap. Anyway.)

But he's leaving, anyhow. Or so he says. I'm waiting for him to actually do it (waiting, hoping not for, same thing, right?). But he really shouldn't. The Rebellion needs him - he knows that, but he's still going. It's insufferable, mainly because he's always goading me about leaving but he doesn't take the stand and actually do it.

Although I really hope he doesn't. Not like I like him, or anything. I'm twenty-one. It's all hormones. That's what girls my age have. Hormones (and parties with flowing alcohol, and bad experiences related to waking up next to their brother-in-law. I don't even have a brother-in-law. I don't even have a sister. And even if I did, it wouldn't matter, thanks to Moff Tarkin and Darth Vader).

Even if I did like him, it wouldn't matter, because I've forbidden myself on growing very many attachments because people are dying left and right. With the exception of Luke, a blonde, naïve boy that happened to blow up the Death Star and save the Rebellion. It's hard not to get attached the the blue-eyed moisture farmer. He's the sweetest kid I know - funny how I call him a kid, we're coincidentally the exact the same age. He's popular among everyone. That's how likable and sociable he is.

Sometimes I wish to be that outgoing.

But I have work to do.

My name is Leia. And I have no idea what I'm doing.

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So? Review:) 


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